This post is a continuation in the series of “40 Days to a Stronger Marriage,” originally posted by Laura at Peace of the Prairies.
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here 🙂
Day 5: Identify an area that you need to improve upon and get to work.
As a professional I spent all day apart from my husband examining patients, consulting with other professionals, putting out fires, instructing students, answering phones, talking to clients, and interacting with colleagues. As a new SAHM, I spend a fair amount of time at the house alone with the baby and the zoo of adopted animals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unsocial or a hermit. I still attend play dates, coffee outings, and my personal favorite, story times at the library; yet, none of these is quite the same as working an 80 hour work week where you are completely in charge of the direction of your day. I have never worked so hard or been as emotionally and mentally drained as I have been as a new mom. Never before have I known what it is to not be able to stop for a minute for coffee or spend just a couple minutes alone in the bathroom. Stress comes with all changes in life, both good and bad. I love Itty Bitty and consider her addition to the world the best thing that has ever happened to our family and I would never give up my new title of Mom for anything in the world, but pretending that the transition from outside of the home workaholic to 24-hour caregiver has been easy would be a huge falsity.
I have undoubtedly burdened my husband with my great deal of angst surrounding this transition I still operate as though I have to report the doings of my day and often bombard him with a list of accomplishments and tasks yet to be completed as soon as he arrives home from work. Seriously, there was a day I actually tracked the number of diaper changes! To his credit, he appeared impressed, although he must have been dialing the phone number to the loony bin in his head. I am guilty of treating our home like a small business, rather than as a home with a simple “honey do” list that doesn’t have to be accomplished all in one night.
Disclosure: The “honey do” list for both of us is actually quite large and my husband may have a physical reaction to seeing me apply the world simple to it 🙂
I struggle deeply, daily with the inability to get it all done. Prior to the arrival of Itty Bitty, if a project wasn’t completed or work remained at the end of the day, I would hunker down, skip a meal, skip sleep, and make it happen. This simply can’t be done anymore. Itty bitty needs me and trying to do it all defeats the essence of my reason for staying home, frustrates me to the point of tears, ignites tension in the marriage, and creates more harm than good.
Laura suggests “writing little reminders around the house; whether it’s a verse from Scripture, or a quote from someone, or just one word.” The following tidbits are the mantras I have chosen to help me adjust to the process of being a happy and loving mom, wife and believer above all else. Some are scripture and some are something else 🙂
For when I’m having trouble deciding the best course to take with my life:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.
–Proverbs 3, 5-6
For when I’m having trouble accepting I can’t fix or do everything:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
For when I’m feeling insecure about our financial future:
Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?”
We can always live on less, when we have more to live for…
For when I’m mistakenly interchanging happiness and achievement:
I learned the path to Heaven is full of sinners and believers
Learned that happiness on earth ain’t just for high achievers
–Brooks and Dunn (Red Dirt Road Lyrics)
For when I’m scared of something new that might really make a difference:
I have not failed anything 10,000 times.
I have successfully found 10,000 ways that don’t work…
Do one thing every day that scares you.
For when I’m faced with people who not agree with my life choices:
Always do right.
This will gratify some people
and astonish the rest…
For when I’m feeling overwhelmed:
It is better to do something than to do nothing
while waiting to do everything…
–Sir Winston Churchill
When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.
For when I’m feeling alone or unappreciated:
What makes you different,
makes you beautiful
–Backstreet Boys (What Makes You Different Lyrics)
Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.
……………………………………and when/if all of these fail, I ask my husband for a hug.
What are you favorite Scriptures, quotes, etc. that motivate you? Please share in comments – the inspiration and encouragement is welcome!
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here 🙂Images used in this post are courtesy of openclipart.org