This post is a continuation in the series of “40 Days to a Stronger Marriage,” originally posted by Laura at Peace of the Prairies.
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Day 5 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Days 6 – 10 click here
Day 11-13: Create your LIFETIME honeymoon. Not everyday will be rainbows and sunshine. Make the stormy days some of your best.
Our biggest example of turning stormy moments into good ones is the introduction of Grumpy Bear Syndrome. In the evenings, when we are trying to get ready for bed the baby is often cranky not wanting to sleep and my husband is in a foul mood, exhausted, and desperately needing rest before the next day. I typically fall somewhere in the middle wanting and needling to rest, but desperate for just a few moments of me time where I can check email, pet the dog, or just breathe without interruption. Most days I don’t get these moments, but it’s still hard for me to watch the opportunity for them pass. One of our coping methods as a family for turning this tumultuous time of day into a peaceful process is to become aware that the downward spiral has begun and commit to stopping what we are doing and concentrating on each other’s needs. Sometimes that last email doesn’t need to be sent, that last pot doesn’t need to be washed, and the baby won’t perish if just this once she sleeps in the same clothes she was in all day. When Grumpy Bear Syndrome strikes in me, my husband, or the baby we head to bed and either play quietly, watch a show, or quietly talk and plan for upcoming moments not infected with Grumpy Bear.
Day 14: Search your heart. If you have committed your life to Christ, commit to renewing your relationship with Him. If you have not accepted that gift, please, seriously consider your need for the Savior. Talk to a pastor, a friend, me, whoever you need to discuss this with. It’s all about YOUR personal relationship with Him.
Giving my challenges and worries up to God and trusting in him that all things will happen according to his plan is both an overwhelming and amazing gift, but can be challenging for a Type A, workaholic, new mother to accept. As always, I’m doing my best. I don’t often write about my relationship with the Lord, because I simply haven’t found my words on this topic to be as well versed or eloquent as several of the other writers and bloggers I follow. So for my husband and I, we don’t write about the Lord as a form of commitment or renewal in our relationship with him. We read, we learn, and we discuss. My husband and I have been known to have many a lively discussion regarding the bible and it’s many teachings at the dining room table, but that’s currently and for the foreseeable future between us.
Day 15 & 16: Be spontaneous this weekend. Do something fun with your husband and create some great memories. Remember, it’s about FUN. Don’t stress over it. Just do what feels right in the moment.
We danced in the kitchen! We loved it! We are going to do it again – lots!
Day 17: Commit to kissing your husband at LEAST once a day. I mean REALLY kissing him.
My husband is a huge fan of this day’s challenge 
For me personally, touch is not my love language, but I can tell you that I have found that on the days that I least want a kiss or a hug are often the days I need them the most. Fortunately, my husband understands this and those moments are when I am most grateful that I’m not on this life’s journey alone!
Day 18: Commit to reading God’s word together daily. Find a good devotional for couples, read a psalm a day, etc. Whatever works for you and your husband. Just make sure you are getting into God’s word.
One of the quotes we used in our wedding was, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” I originally found it in a motivational calendar on the back of the bathroom stall door at the hospital where I worked – no kidding! It spoke to us both though on so many levels. On a practical day to day level we wanted to ensure that we had the same dreams and goals and both were committed to working together to not only complete the journey, but take care of each other on the way. As a gift on our wedding day my husband gave me a picture of us holding each other, newly engaged, housed in a wooden frame engraved with our names and this quote.
My husband and I also firmly believe that our being together is one of the greatest gifts the Lord has ever provided either of us. We are very much in development when it comes to finding ways to rejoice in the Lord together outside of mass, which we attend with Itty Bitty each week. My cousin, an amazing and devote follower of the Lord, sent us a story bible, which we will read together as a family. We pray at meal time and hope to introduce bible reading and study time in our lives as well, but for now with the hours so short, this time is often forced, not enjoyable, and not how I wish to spend time with Jesus. So, as stated above we are in development on this one!
As a side note, I found a wonderful article written by a woman who is very comfortable in both her relationship with the Lord and in her writing about that relationship who wrote a fabulous article about taking your children to church. Your Screaming Kids Are Distracting Me by Meg Hunter-Kilmer. If you take the time to read the article I’d like to share with you that I have a new life goal and that is to be the old man in this story who offers encouraging words to new mothers brave enough to bring their children with them to mass. I thank every single soul who has ever had a kind word for me or for my daughter when we attend church. I strongly believe that feeling welcome in the church is one of the biggest blessings and gifts you can extend to a new family.
Day 19 & 20: Learn your husbands “Love Language” and how to “speak” it to him. Then commit to speaking it to him for the rest of your life. Learn more about your husbands love language and commit to speaking it to him every day.
Committing to make time to show each other love in the other’s love language can be challenging, especially when there always seems to be one more thing that needs to be done first. This weekend, my husband chased a starling fledging out of the attic, put away Christmas decorations (March is actually pretty good for us…lol), and made dinner. My acts of service love language was pretty happy with him. Making time to snuggle and focus my energy on him, while Itty Bitty is napping is my chance to express my love to him in his love language; physical touch. We went for a walk together and held hands, answering a need for both physical touch and quality time – a love language that both of us believe to be a secondary language for both of us.
In what ways do you show your partner love in his/her love language?
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Day 5 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Days 6 – 10 click here
Images used in this post, unless labled otherwise, are courtesy of openclipart.org
Looks like you all are still doing well! I hope you are really starting to see the effect you can have on your marriage through simple things! Many blessings!
Ashley recently posted…Nutter Butter Chicks (and Bunnies)
Thanks Ashley 🙂 We are working on it!