This post is a continuation in the series of “40 Days to a Stronger Marriage,” originally posted by Laura at Peace of the Prairies.
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Day 5 click here
Day 6: Set aside one day each week for a “date night” with your husband.
Ever since we had Itty Bitty, my husband and I have been overwhelmed with advice from well meaning friends and family telling us to get out of the house and go on a date. We know we have to make time for each other, but we are simply not ready to leave her for any extended period of time just yet. I’m sure that day will come, but for now neither my husband, nor I feel that making sure we get out of the house and away from our infant daughter for an entire evening is really going to help our marriage. 
So, for our date night we have instituted a pizza and a movie night in our living room on Friday evenings. We have been trying to reduce Itty Bitty’s television exposure, so tuning in and watching something together is a real treat. I recently read a post, from a woman who takes walks with her husband once a week as a date night. She has a larger family and the eldest watches the youngest, while Mom and Dad spend some time hand in hand walking, talking, and connecting. I think once the weather warms up we are going to try this even if it means Itty Bitty gets some quality Ergo or stroller time.
Day 7: Vocalize your love for your husband. Find out what their love language is and commit to keeping their “love cup” full.
If you haven’t read the book, “The 5 Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman I would like to highly recommend you take the time to do so. My husband and I received this as a wedding gift and it is to this day one of the gifts we appreciate the most. My husband’s love language is “physical touch,” while mine, like many women, is “acts of service.” My husband is never sexier to me than when he is fixing something around the house, folding the laundry, or be still my very soul – vacuuming! For those who read the words physical touch and equate that to my husband desiring sex as an expression of love you aren’t wrong. He’s not going to pass up on a chance for intimate time with his wife, but it also means time spent hugging, kissing, holding hands and snuggling together on the couch – the way we do during date night. It’s amazing how much tension I can actually feel him release when I simply touch him on his shoulder or squeeze his hand.
Day 8: Make a list of 3 ways that you are different from your husband. Once you have written them down, write down how they complete you and then share them with your husband.
1. Having just reviewed our love language differences, I have to say that him desiring physical touch as his primary expression of love is a big difference, but I’m so grateful he makes sure this stays part of our marriage! After all, we do want more children.
2. He is forever optimistic. While I can quickly turn a simple problem with an easy fix into the end of the world, he always thinks it will be fine and in doing so will sometimes neglect to note little or big details that need to get done in order for it to truly be OK. Fortunately, the longer we are married, the more I keep him grounded in reality and the more he inspires me to let go of the things that aren’t critical to our family.
3. He is much more cavalier in his handling of the baby and she loves it; little daredevil! She loves to be hung upside down, flipped around, twirled, spun, or thrown into the air. Watching it makes me want to pass out – I worked really hard to create that little masterpiece. Yet, her little laugh and the wonderful smiles on the faces of Itty Bitty and her Daddy are worth me having to hold my breath. It’s an excellent exercise for me in learning to trust him with the baby and in making sure I don’t stifle her exposure to the world or limit her experiences because of fear.
Days 9 & 10: Put your focus on God. Not on yourself, not on your spouse.
Ok – we didn’t go to church on Sunday and my bible reading didn’t happen! So, when I linked over to see the goals for days 9 and 10 on Sunday afternoon I groaned a little. It was not a very auspicious start to putting God first in our weekend, but we recovered quickly and found little ways to make sure God was our focus. We prayed at the dinner table, at bedtime, and when we completed our taxes. We then asked for forgiveness for putting our desire to complete tax forms over traveling to his house.
Making sure you keep the focus on God in your life and marriage without letting life happenings like taxes or financial concerns get in the way can be challenging for me.
What advice do you have for keeping God as the focus in your marriage?
If you missed my posts regarding Days 1 – 4 click here
If you missed my posts regarding Day 5 click here
Images used in this post, unless labled otherwise, are courtesy of openclipart.org
Sounds like things are going pretty well! Your husband sounds a lot like mine too. 🙂
Ashley recently posted…Snow Castle
We must both be very lucky women then 🙂 You’ll have to tell me more about him sometime 🙂